I’ve been following the cyber-bullying trial taking place in Los Angeles in a federal court regarding the Missouri woman who taunted her daughter’s friend on MySpace, allegedly resulting in the young girl’s suicide. It has come to light now that the deceased had a history of extreme insecurity, and that perhaps the accused woman even had knowledge of this. Despite this alleged knowledge, she continued to taunt the young girl with cruel words that, in the eyes of the some, encouraged her to take her own life. The woman will not be charged with homicide, the newspapers are quick to remind us, but rather online harassment. According to various AP news releases, the notion of a mistrial was brought up several times due to the extreme emotional nature of the case.
I don’t know how this case will end. I’ll keep following the headlines like everyone else. But what I have noticed about this case is the global attention it is receiving. In preparation for this blog, I searched “cyber-bullying” in news and found articles from sources from every major city in the U.S. as well as Canada and as far away as Australia and the UK and more. The eyes of the world are watching to see how this unprecedented case is resolved. And despite the fact that I’m not sure, myself, how it should be resolved, boy, oh boy, I hope we do it right.
As the parent of a 12-year-old girl, this whole story is especially tough to take. I have stayed up late into the night attempting to ease the heartbreak that few cruel words spoken by classmates can cause. I watch from the sidelines as my daughter prepares herself for her school day, or any day really, carefully selecting her clothes and her hairstyles, looking for a second opinion and reassurance in so many ways. I help her hang her Jonas Brothers posters over spaces where Zac Efron was only last week, and I listen to her side of the conversation as she dishes tween celebrity gossip with her friends over the course of multiple phone calls. Preteen and early teenage years are such a precious time. It’s a time when kids discover the sound of their own voices; it’s when they stomp around this earth of ours to check out their own footprints. It certainly doesn’t take much to knock their precarious worlds off course.
As most parents are, I am very aware of this. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could haul our kids around in those Snugli-paks until they were about, oh, 18? Well, I suppose that is a little impractical. Meanwhile, I’ll keep trying to undo the damages of harsh words spoken in the lunchroom. I’ll remain the almighty enforcer of the curfew that is, of course, earlier than the all the cool kids’ curfew. And even though those same cool kids all have MySpace accounts, I’ll continue to stand firm on my platform of big-fat NO. (“But how will I talk to my friends?” “With your mouth.” –And I’ve got tons more standard answers where that came from.)
This is it—the “parenting” I read about in handbook after handbook when this kid was still napping twice a day. Who knew some of the evils we were to protect them from would come in the form of an innocent-looking avatar? I don’t know what laws if any will result from this landmark MySpace-related court case, so I’m laying down the mom-law. We’re reminded from this case that things happen when we’re not looking. So I’m busting out the Visine and keeping both eyes as wide as I possibly can.
Besides, I seriously doubt that one day I’ll look back and regret that I didn’t let my child MySpace more often. I doubt I’ll be sad we took those walks and had those talks during the time that my daughter could have been MySpace-ing with Pete from Toledo who loves Paramore and Twilight. I’ll take the heat for being “mean mom” cyber patrol. It’s okay—I hear all the cool parents are doing it.
Very sweet spin on a sad story. My son isn’t old enough for myspace yet, but I think I will be a mean mom too. See you there.
We really can’t do enough to keep our kids safe these days. This extends to their use of the computer as well. It is our duties to keep a close eye on what kids are doing. I agree.
This is a beautiful post. I discussed this myspace tragedy with my mom not too long ago. Back when I was in middle/high school my mother would have done anything to help me – anything that would keep me from crying and being hurt. However this is just too far. We agreed that parents could get involved, but NEVER to that level. Why not talk to the little girl’s mother, rather than stooping down to the level of creating a fake myspace account. it’s so juvenile and I hate that she’s getting off with no charges. I just wish more parents are as caring as my mom and as you. You may be uncool to your kids, but you’re definitely saving them in the end.